I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
