Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
