if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
