why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
