Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
