we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
