She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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