just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
