You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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