I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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