it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
