Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
