I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
