Your tits are I can't wait for
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
