Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
