I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
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