This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
