Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
