Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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