I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
