Porn is love you can see.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
