I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
