thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
