We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
