Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
