He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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