We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
