i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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