I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
