mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
