Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's never too late to be topless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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