we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
