and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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