I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
