Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
