Me. At least after what I've been through.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
