even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
