glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
