Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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