you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
