tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What a dumb baby whore.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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