in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can text with my tongue
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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