I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
