as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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