I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
His hands were made for my vagina.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
