dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
