no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
