my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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