Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
