i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
