I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
