the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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